As far as apocalypses go, this one has been pretty depressing. There has been not one single zombie. I have saved up all this ammo for nothing. I am not meaning to demean the crisis that we are currently in, nor the death and illness and fear it has wrought. I am saying for me this quarantine has been confounding and depressing. If something like this ever happened I had always envisioned zombies or at the very least the Commies from “Red Dawn.” I thought I’d at least get to yell “Where’s Carl?!” or “WOLVERINES” whilst firing my guns from the windows. Instead of being surrounded by zombies, I am surrounded by constant Coronavirus news, politics, and Facebook shaming.
NOTE: Some of the shaming and news are completely warranted. Not meaning to be snarky. Necessary does not mean I have to like it though. Just like I don’t like innocent people being sick. 
At first I thought this was all ridiculous and the media was panicking us for no reason. However, I always try and be the first to admit I am wrong, and I was initially wrong about this whole Coronavirus thing. In my defense I first became aware of it as a pretty big and surreal surprise.
You see the first week of March we took the family up 9000 ft into the Rockies for a much needed vacation. We stayed in a secluded cabin without TV or internet for the most part. This virus thing really started to break out while we were up there. Liz would hop on the Facebook every once in awhile to tell me, “They’re thinking of closing schools” or there are so many cases in such and such. I kept rolling my eyes thinking what’s the big deal. We’ve had pig flu, bird flu, H1N1, SARS, and on and on and no one talked about stopping the NHL or canceling school. I just didn’t get it.
Next thing she tells me is people are buying up all the toilet paper? I’m sitting on the deck looking at the mountains hoping to see a Billy goat or a pack of wolves or something. Just deer, but still awesome. Or I’d be packing up the boys for a day of skiing and Liz would say “Walmart’s out of toilet paper and people are fighting over it.” I thought Facebook, and or Liz are freaking crazy. Whoever heard of such a thing. We stopped at a grocery store and I’ll be darned if some older lady didn’t have a shopping cart not only full of toilet paper, but piled above her head where she had to stretch an arm all the way up to keep the pile from falling down. I thought, “Ok so there’s one idiot.”
Once up in our mountain hideaway I mostly just didn’t care what was going on in the “real world” which I think is the point of vacationing especially somewhere secluded like that. My wife being the responsible checklist kind of gal couldn’t help herself in checking for news and updating me when I didn’t want to hear about it. The Coronavirus was now becoming really annoying. We spent three days at Breckenridge skiing and tubing with some friends who live out there who also scoffed at the whole end of the world panic. The resorts were full and life was going just like it should. I just couldn’t figure out what the big deal is. I think no TV for a week was a main culprit.
Some of you are thinking I am too cavalier or callus about people getting sick and dying by the tens at the time then the 100s and now 1000s. I will tell you I am sensitive to a fault caring about other people. I am a “fixer.” So I would be the last to blow off a pandemic. I just didn’t really believe there was one. At the airport there were a few folks wearing masks, but other than that it still didn’t seem like an apocalypse.
Again in my defense I am quite a bit warped by the government among other things. I instinctively reject anything “they” say. I resist and question because other than the past few years, my entire adult life, I have been a “they.” They do a lot of bad things. They do bad things and lie about it. Unfortunately I have been privy to some of those lies and occasionally been the liar myself. Sometimes unwittingly, but most of the time with eyes wide open.
Having a Top Secret clearance and working in, on, and around various classified projects within the military and as a defense contractor you get an eye burning view of just what our government is capable of. I will take those secrets to my grave, but please trust me, when you imagine something awful you think the government might have done, multiply it by 100. And I am still under selling it big time.
Having been a good trooper from 18-40 something, I picked up another not great quality. I instantly want to fight against being told what to do. Not by anyone. Especially not the government in any form. I am not a whiny question my leaders for no reason Gen Xer or Millennial. I followed orders good and bad. I am not obligated to do that anymore. If I want to leave my house well by God I will. Before we came back home from Colorado I was already fired up. I will do what I damn well please. The aforementioned government service I feel gives me that right. In fact I dare someone to tell me I have to wear a mask or not take my kids to hockey.
The weekend we came home that’s exactly what we did. Hockey at the local level went right on going. We had a full few days of it. They cancelled the boys school. I thought what for? No one in our area or anywhere near our area had reported a case yet. It seemed like governors, mayors, city/county executives started trying to outdo each other in shutting things down the quickest. I couldn’t believe it. I really felt like we were being sold a zombie apocalypse with no zombies.
Then it was St. Patrick’s Day and the media/government were strongly suggesting we skip it. All the parades and big events had been cancelled. At this point I was starting to take it seriously. The 24 hour news alerts made it hard not to. Coming home to see people really did buy all the toilet paper. I still really don’t get that.
I met with some of the other hockey parents for what I figured would most likely be my final public outing for awhile. We were only hanging with people we had already been hanging out with at the rink and locker rooms all weekend. I thought if we were gonna hang with some folks they were the safest. We went to a bar owned by the parents of one of the hockey moms. Her mom got the call from the Health Dept while we were sitting there, her bar would be closed indefinitely in two days.
As a small business owner this was devastating for her and her staff. The stress and worry on their faces was instant and painful to see. It made me angry that it was happening at all, but mostly it made me angry the government could order someone to go broke before 1 case of the virus was even reported anywhere near us. What made me even angrier than that was the private and public shaming we all started to get for being out on St. Pat’s Day at all.
We were getting messages from family and friends about how we were risking lives and selfish and even more pleasantries like “Go” and “Stay the F Home!” Oh I don’t like that at all. Maybe my panicky friends and my overly cautious wife were right. I don’t know. At the time we were already back at someone’s house with our kids playing together for the last time in who knows how much longer. If we were going to pass it around it was already passed.
The public shaming and preaching continues on the Facebook. I had to get off for awhile it made me so angry. Nothing worse to me than the passive aggressive posts where someone is clearly taking a dig at someone specifically, but posts something condescending as a public service announcement. Man I hate that. Don’t get me wrong I have adhered to the rules and have stayed home since St. Pat’s Day. I’ve been to the grocery store twice, the gas station, and the vet’s office to put my friend Copper to sleep.
I have kept the boys from seeing their friends and resisted the overwhelming urge to drive straight to Detroit to be with my other kids and my grandson. Doesn’t mean after a couple weeks I am not still eye rolling at the PSAs and other COVID-19 posts telling people to stay home. I would think that everyone on your friend list is aware they need to stay home at this point. My wife tells me still those posts might make it to a friend of a friend of a friend who’s still out running around. I guess so. She’s always right, so I’m sure this is no different.
This morning the virus landed home for me. A good friend of mine and a brother at arms is in the ICU fighting the virus and his wife can’t be by his side because she has it too. This guy has been a big brother to me in the military and civilian cop worlds for over 20 years. I of course can’t go visit him either. I am praying he defeats it like every other enemy he has faced in his life.
The real truth is it has been home every day. I am just choosing to ignore it. Liz is a pharmacist who has been provided zero protection. She has surely been exposed by now. If not yet, it’s only a matter of time. I am just sticking with she’s not going to get it, because we’ve had our share of crisis lately. Thus I will continue the quarantine no matter who tells me to or how much it irks me.
What are you all (who aren’t essential) doing to kill time? I am really hoping to spend some time raising a new German Shepherd puppy. With Copper gone and just the little dog around, the house seems empty. Turns out I can’t afford a German Shepherd puppy. Been awhile since we bought a dog, they sure got expensive. I know I should rescue a mutt, but I don’t want to. I have had bad luck with them and I really want a German Shepherd. Please don’t shame me on that too. It seems like the majority of rescue dogs are Pits and we have not had good luck with those. I don’t fault the breed. Just is what it is.
I built myself a little gym in the basement. It sucks working out in the basement. I’m thankful I am still able to work out as many cannot, it’s just not the same. First world problems. I’ve got plenty of projects, but now just running up to the hardware store is pretty much forbidden. That also sucks. They still have delivery, so I will be posting some pics of a hockey upgrade to the backyard soon. Have tons of yard work to do, basement bar to finish, and our master bathroom shower needs a complete overhaul. Not sure my DYI skills are up for that project yet. That may have to wait till after the zombies finally do come.
What are all my cop friends up to? I am guessing sheltering in place in your vehicles while at work? Hopefully not bothering with tickets unless someone does something extreme. My military friends, are you confined to quarters, essential folks only?
I pray you all are safe and healthy. I should be writing a whole lot more, but things are so down right now. My butt seems very concerned someone will steal our couches. Seriously though where is Carl? Sorry a little Walking Dead humor. We gotta laugh and love our way through this.
Jacked Up Dad 